Sometimes it's hard to change things.
Try as you can but it doesn't work.
So much is beyond your control.
You are no hero.
You are just a man.
Do the best you can.
It will all work out in due time.
But not without bullshit.
Two holiday season's ago I was giving a journal to start writing in again. I let it sit there untouched for a long time. A few weeks ago when I was feeling pretty low I wrote this poem. I don't know if it sucks or not but it helped me.
I had another blog for 8 years. I put a lot of myself into it. One day, I just didn't feel like sharing myself with everybody so much. There seemed to be so many things that weren't changing to the point where I could just copy and paste something I wrote awhile ago and it was still timely. There's only so many ways you can voice your concerns about your community and the future of it before you just get frustrated. I'm not a fan of faking being positive. I feel like it's not helpful when it comes to finding solutions to what's going on. I envy people who can do that. They seem to be happier than I am.
The news is so draining. It's hard to watch everyday. I never know when I wake up if I am losing my health care, having funding for my job cut, someone on my block has been shot, or we have been invaded by Russia. I'm just trying to make it through the day like everyone else. I used to be a great listener. People used to come to me with their problems. They still do, but now I don't know what to tell them. I just shrug my shoulders. I got my own issues.
No one wants to be like that all the time, so what do you do about it? I started working out. I got a second job to recover from a string of bad luck. I'm trying to be more active again. I have to bring the blog back. I can't do Cliff's Crib anymore. So we are moving forward and not backwards.